Hi Hilary! I like how you are doing a storybook over mothers of the Indian Epics. It's great that you are focusing on women. I think mothers are really important in Indian Epics and played a huge part in giving birth to gods. Although I feel like Ramayana didn't give women enough credit and a lot of these stories over women were sad and depressing. Like Kaikeyi being selfish wanting her son to become king and the mother of Karna abandoning her son. I wish there are more positive views over the mothers and women in Indian Epics but I am really glad that you're focusing your stories about them! Your layout is quite simple but I like it that way. The texts and font sizes are easy to read, you didn't do any crazy design that I would have to squint my eyes haha. The profile picture of your storybook is an excellent example of love between a mother and a child! I'm really excited to see what you have later on with your stories. It is pretty cool to see different stories besides Rama and Sita. I;m looking forward to reading more stories on your storybook! Keep up the good work!
I love that you are writing about the mothers of the Indian Epics. I think this will be a awesome topic to write about because many times when we read these stories we never hear about the mothers once the main characters are older. The mothers play a major role in the upbringing of all the avatars. You did a great job explaining what your storybook is about and what stories you will be discussing. I only know of the story of Kaikeyi because of Ramayana so I am excited to read your other stories.
You did a great job telling Kaikeyi story from Ramayana. I hated that she betrayed the King and her son like that. I know she was trying to do what she thought was right, but it is sad to see the repercussions of her actions. I am glad that you made the ending of the story happy and that Bharata and her could reconcile before she passed away. I look forward to reading the rest of your stories! Great job!!
Just looking at your storybook, and want to say first off that I love the cover page photo; it's beautiful and heartwarming.
Your introduction is very eloquent, and I think Shashthi is the perfect storyteller for these stories. I like that she mentions how mothers are a part of every story. They are a part of everyone's story, indeed! Mothers are vital figures in life and your introduction captures that idea wonderfully.
One suggestion I have on the sentence that ends with "turn out as people," I would change the word people to something like "later in life" or "as adults". Something more specific, since children are still people, lol.
In Kaikeyi's story, I would combine these three sentences into one for better flow: "Rama was exiled. King Dasaratha was devastated. It was all Kaikeyi’s fault." = Rama was exiled, King Dasaratha was devastated, and it was all Kaikeyi's fault. When too many short sentences follow each other, the result is a choppy read. But it's good for effect sometimes.
When Shashthi is telling the reader what Kaikeyi told her, I would use a colon instead of a period and italicize Kaykeyi's speech.
I think your project topic is wonderful, and the storytelling style fits perfectly! Your introduction and first story are very concisely written. It wouldn't hurt to add in some descriptive details throughout, but that is just another suggestion.
Hi Hilary, I know it has been since Week 1 that I have really gotten a chance to comment on your stuff, but I’m writing on your wall to say hello and that I remember your Jack and Jill story as something that was surprising and cute. I guess that’s really all I have to say, except that I hope that your semester is going well.
Hi Hilary! I also enjoyed the subject of your storybook. Mothers in the Indian Epics is an interesting topic and I am sure you can find a lot of emotion to flesh out on. A couple things: I thought the introduction was a little impersonal. I imagine the goddess of child-bearing would be extremely warm and nurturing and I did not really get that from the introduction. And instead of just having a goddess tell sotries, maybe elaborate a little on your framework? A support group for teen mothers? A foster home for orphaned children? Anything to kind of tie your stories together. Also, I would have liked to hear the story from Kaikeyi’s perspective, instead of from the same goddess as the introduction. I think you can get a lot out of first person perspective that you cannot get from third person. Anyways, good luck, it looks good so far!
Hey Hilary! Just saw your comments about my storybook! Thanks for checking it out! I liked your suggestion to include some dialogue with the other characters in my posts. I will try to work on that for my next storybook post! It is always a struggle for me, but I agree I need to get better at including more characters. I plan to check out your website later!
I love your storybook topic! It's really unique, and from your Introduction, it seems like there are a lot of great stories you can tell. It's such a neat idea to focus on the mothers of the epics and how their actions affected the heroes we know so much about.
I liked your Introduction a lot. It's cool how you lay everything out for the reader so that we know a little bit about what to expect from the upcoming stories. I also think you did a good job selecting a very appropriate and interesting narrator for the storybook. She fits very well with your topic.
Your first story is great. The best part, I think, is the deathbed scene where Kaikeyi reflects on her decisions. That's something we didn't get as much of in Buck's and Narayan's versions of the Ramayana, but it's something I found myself wondering about. It's kind of nice to see she feels some remorse because she was really selfish. I like how you incorporate a lesson into it, and you make it really clear. That's a neat touch. Great job!
I absolutely love the idea of stories from mothers. They have such an interesting perspective on their lives but also the lives of their children. Having something of an omniscient on-looker is such a wonderful idea. I really like the layout of your site as well. It is so easy to navigate and very easy to read. The introduction was so well done. You open the concept for you storybook so well. You not only introduce Shashthi but the topic all in one effortless introduction. I read Kaikeyi’s story and loved it! I found that story so interesting in Ramayana, I am so glad you elaborated on it. You summarized the original story so seamlessly. It flowed from beginning to end. The comments made to Shashthi are so meaningful. Looking back on her life, she realizes the wrongs she has done. Shashathi’s moral is so truthful. Bringing those two aspects together to not only tell a story but a moral is such a creative idea.
Hi Hilary! I am going to be commenting on your introduction and your first story today. First of all, I love your idea for your storybook. It is very unique from others that I have seen and judging from your introduction, it seems like there is so much you can write about! The photo you have chosen for your cover page is so cute. The mother looks so happy to see her baby and her sari makes the page more vibrant, especially since it matches with the color of the heading. The image of Shashthi in your introduction looks interesting. If it could be a little bit bigger it might be easier to view the details in it. Shashthi is a good choice as a narrator since she is the goddess of childbirth. I enjoyed reading your first story. I especially liked that you elaborated on Kaikeyi’s story. Overall your storybook looks great and I can’t wait to read more of your stories later on as you add them!
Hilary, great storybook! It is amazing to see how many people have come up with so many different ideas of their storybooks. This is yet, another great topic. I love the idea of telling the stories of the mothers. The eye of the mother is one that not only sees the story as a bystander but one that had an invested interest in the character. Overall, the site itself is simple and very easy to navigate. I had no struggles at all finding any of your stories or your introduction.
With regards to the stories I really liked where we got to see the mothers reflect on the decision they had made. Kaikeyi showing remorse was a very interesting aspect, as I was reading it I remembered thinking that she must have had some remorse for such a harsh action she was responsible for. All together this storybook is great and I cannot wait to check back in later on to see more opinions of mothers and see the mothers that we are not familiar with yet.
Your cover page is very lovely. The simple background really makes your image pop out to readers. As I started off reading the intro, I really liked your idea of using Shashthi as your narrator. Her character and significance is very fitting in regards to the theme of your project.
I like how you had Shashthi introduce all of the stories that you are planning to tell, which gives the readers time to take in what to expect from them. The flow of the text is great in the introduction, and I am excited to read your first story.
I am actually really glad that you wrote about Kaikeyi since she has a bad reputation in the Ramayana, for the most part, after Rama's exile. This reputation was displayed in your tale, but I enjoyed your ending far more than the one presented in the Ramayana. I like how you incorporated a moral of the story, and displayed how Kaikeyi made some difficult decisions while trying to look out for her son.
Hilary, today I am going to be commenting on your Introduction page. Your website looks great. I love the red and white because it makes everything stand out. I think that your website is very easy to read and to navigate. If I had to make one suggestion it would be to delete the navigation bar because I feel that there is no need for it. I also like the pictures that you have chosen. On your home, the picture of the mother and child is so beautiful. Your story is very well written. I could find no mistakes whatsoever. I think that your choice for this storybook is very interesting. I like how you are going to focus on mothers and the effects that they have had on their children. I am very interested at looking at Kaikeyi’s story. I hope that you will give some deep insight into her inner thoughts.
Hi Hilary! I really enjoyed reading your story about Kunti. However, I would have liked to read about a few changes that you made to the story so that it is original and not regurgitation. We all have great imagination, and I just wish I could have seen that a little bit more in this story. I thought that your story flowed well because of the paragraph breaks. It made it easy to read. You provided great background information as to why Kunti abandoned Karna. The message of this story is great! Abandonment seems to be a real issue these days with how high the divorce rates are. I enjoyed how you took the war out of the story, but still included it by giving us an image. I didn't see any grammar mistakes that I could find. You have done a really great job with this story. Great job!
Hi Hilary! Just from your cover page, I'm excited about your storybook. I love the red and white color scheme and I think focusing on the mothers will be a great and unique theme. The picture on your cover page with the mother and baby is adorable.
Your introduction is great. I think it's cool that you are using the goddess of childbirth to tell the stories. That will put a great and reliable narrator to tell the stories of different mothers throughout these stories. I also liked how you summarized what mothers you were going to talk about and a little about their stories. It wasn't enough to spoil the stories but was enough to prepare for the stories to come. I didn't notice any grammar or spelling mistakes while reading. The writing flowed well and was easy to read.
I look forward to reading your stories in the coming weeks. Great job!
I really like the concept you came up with! I feel especially in the Indian epics mother play a huge role. As I have been reading the Mahabharata that has become more apparent to me. I mean, on the advice of the Pandava’s brother’s mother, Draupadi became the common wife of all of them. If a passing comment from a mother caused an entire family to break all cultural norms, then she has to have influence. I enjoyed your introduction, it was clean and simple and did not overwhelm me with information. You picked an excellent goddess to be your storyteller. I also like the layout of your storybook. It was extremely easy to navigate and easy to read as well. I was a little worried when I first started reading Kaikeyi’s story, because it was so similar to what I read in the Ramayana. But the end saved it! Her reflecting on her mistake on her death bed was a great ending. However, to avoid sounding just like The Ramayana, I might suggest beginning the story with her being on her deathbed, and having her do a little shorter recap of her life. Besides that, you did a great job!
I visited you storybook site and was fascinated. I like the topic you picked to write because mothers from the stories take a big part of the Indian epic. I enjoyed reading your introduction because it gave a great amount of details on how the storybook is going to be. It is so true that mothers have their ups and downs. I like how you had the Goddess of mother to be the storyteller because she fits perfectly as a narrator.
I read Kaikeyi's story and it was great! The usage of dialogue was great and I was able to follow along with the story. I also wrote about Kaikeyi on my blog too because her character is just so unique! I also like the picture you used for the story.
You had a great flow in the paragraphs and I truly enjoyed reading your story! I also like the simple layout of your site. Can't wait to read more of mother stories.
This is my first time visiting your storybook, and I am a bit surprised that we haven’t crossed paths before. I like your coverpage of your storybook. It is nice and simple with red accents and borders. It feels very “Divine” like. I think that you did a great job with the introduction. It was very well written. I never knew that there was a goddess of childbirth, so that was nice to learn about Shashthi’s existence. I see that she will be narrating the stories of the mothers, since she is the one who has talked to the mothers in need. He is like a modern day therapist. What you also did that was very well was briefly explain what each story would be about as well as introduce the 4 main characters.
I decided to read about your first story “Kaikeyi’s story. Since we have all read this part of the story before, at least I hope, I do not think that I need to comment on the actually story part, but I did notice that you added the deathbed scene with was a cool niche to the original. I understand what you were trying to do by venturing more into Kaikeyi’s feelings. Great job!
Hi Hilary! Today in your Storybook, I read your introduction and Kunti’s Story. Your introduction looks good, except for the line “I can help them be able to have a child”. That line is very awkward. Besides that, good job telling us about what we will be reading.
The layout of your story looks good. The theme makes the stories easy to read, and your paragraph spacing is good. However, the links below your pictures should link us to the website where you found the image, not the larger version of the image.
Upon reading Kunti’s story, I first noticed that it was a little choppy. The first paragraph doesn’t have much sentence variation in it, so it reads with a lot of pauses. Also, the line “he floated down the river” was awkward. The phrasing almost makes it seem like his choice to do so.
Also, I don’t think the line “she felt so badly” fits well.
Your picture in this story is really small, and I feel like it should be made bigger so that it adds some color to the white page.
Hilary, I have already commented on your storybook in the past. As I did the first time, this time again I really enjoyed reading the story from the mother's standpoint. Although everyone should know quite a bit of the details from the original stories since we all have a decent background from reading them. I feel you do a very good job of creating your own details to add into the storybook in order to bring the characters to life and really emphasize the viewpoint of the mothers. There were a couple things I noticed in Kunti's Story, however, that were just simply little grammatical errors that it seems others have also pointed out. Appearance though, I do agree with Lynze that the picture seems to be quite small for the page. Overall, outstanding storybook and good luck as we close out the semester.
Hi Hilary! I like how you are doing a storybook over mothers of the Indian Epics. It's great that you are focusing on women. I think mothers are really important in Indian Epics and played a huge part in giving birth to gods. Although I feel like Ramayana didn't give women enough credit and a lot of these stories over women were sad and depressing. Like Kaikeyi being selfish wanting her son to become king and the mother of Karna abandoning her son. I wish there are more positive views over the mothers and women in Indian Epics but I am really glad that you're focusing your stories about them! Your layout is quite simple but I like it that way. The texts and font sizes are easy to read, you didn't do any crazy design that I would have to squint my eyes haha. The profile picture of your storybook is an excellent example of love between a mother and a child! I'm really excited to see what you have later on with your stories. It is pretty cool to see different stories besides Rama and Sita. I;m looking forward to reading more stories on your storybook! Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHey Hilary!
ReplyDeleteI love that you are writing about the mothers of the Indian Epics. I think this will be a awesome topic to write about because many times when we read these stories we never hear about the mothers once the main characters are older. The mothers play a major role in the upbringing of all the avatars. You did a great job explaining what your storybook is about and what stories you will be discussing. I only know of the story of Kaikeyi because of Ramayana so I am excited to read your other stories.
You did a great job telling Kaikeyi story from Ramayana. I hated that she betrayed the King and her son like that. I know she was trying to do what she thought was right, but it is sad to see the repercussions of her actions. I am glad that you made the ending of the story happy and that Bharata and her could reconcile before she passed away. I look forward to reading the rest of your stories! Great job!!
Hey Hilary,
ReplyDeleteJust looking at your storybook, and want to say first off that I love the cover page photo; it's beautiful and heartwarming.
Your introduction is very eloquent, and I think Shashthi is the perfect storyteller for these stories. I like that she mentions how mothers are a part of every story. They are a part of everyone's story, indeed! Mothers are vital figures in life and your introduction captures that idea wonderfully.
One suggestion I have on the sentence that ends with "turn out as people," I would change the word people to something like "later in life" or "as adults". Something more specific, since children are still people, lol.
In Kaikeyi's story, I would combine these three sentences into one for better flow: "Rama was exiled. King Dasaratha was devastated. It was all Kaikeyi’s fault." = Rama was exiled, King Dasaratha was devastated, and it was all Kaikeyi's fault. When too many short sentences follow each other, the result is a choppy read. But it's good for effect sometimes.
When Shashthi is telling the reader what Kaikeyi told her, I would use a colon instead of a period and italicize Kaykeyi's speech.
I think your project topic is wonderful, and the storytelling style fits perfectly! Your introduction and first story are very concisely written. It wouldn't hurt to add in some descriptive details throughout, but that is just another suggestion.
Hi Hilary, I know it has been since Week 1 that I have really gotten a chance to comment on your stuff, but I’m writing on your wall to say hello and that I remember your Jack and Jill story as something that was surprising and cute. I guess that’s really all I have to say, except that I hope that your semester is going well.
ReplyDeleteHi Hilary! I also enjoyed the subject of your storybook. Mothers in the Indian Epics is an interesting topic and I am sure you can find a lot of emotion to flesh out on. A couple things: I thought the introduction was a little impersonal. I imagine the goddess of child-bearing would be extremely warm and nurturing and I did not really get that from the introduction. And instead of just having a goddess tell sotries, maybe elaborate a little on your framework? A support group for teen mothers? A foster home for orphaned children? Anything to kind of tie your stories together. Also, I would have liked to hear the story from Kaikeyi’s perspective, instead of from the same goddess as the introduction. I think you can get a lot out of first person perspective that you cannot get from third person. Anyways, good luck, it looks good so far!
ReplyDeleteHey Hilary! Just saw your comments about my storybook! Thanks for checking it out! I liked your suggestion to include some dialogue with the other characters in my posts. I will try to work on that for my next storybook post! It is always a struggle for me, but I agree I need to get better at including more characters. I plan to check out your website later!
ReplyDeleteHi, Hilary!
ReplyDeleteI love your storybook topic! It's really unique, and from your Introduction, it seems like there are a lot of great stories you can tell. It's such a neat idea to focus on the mothers of the epics and how their actions affected the heroes we know so much about.
I liked your Introduction a lot. It's cool how you lay everything out for the reader so that we know a little bit about what to expect from the upcoming stories. I also think you did a good job selecting a very appropriate and interesting narrator for the storybook. She fits very well with your topic.
Your first story is great. The best part, I think, is the deathbed scene where Kaikeyi reflects on her decisions. That's something we didn't get as much of in Buck's and Narayan's versions of the Ramayana, but it's something I found myself wondering about. It's kind of nice to see she feels some remorse because she was really selfish. I like how you incorporate a lesson into it, and you make it really clear. That's a neat touch. Great job!
I absolutely love the idea of stories from mothers. They have such an interesting perspective on their lives but also the lives of their children. Having something of an omniscient on-looker is such a wonderful idea. I really like the layout of your site as well. It is so easy to navigate and very easy to read. The introduction was so well done. You open the concept for you storybook so well. You not only introduce Shashthi but the topic all in one effortless introduction.
ReplyDeleteI read Kaikeyi’s story and loved it! I found that story so interesting in Ramayana, I am so glad you elaborated on it. You summarized the original story so seamlessly. It flowed from beginning to end. The comments made to Shashthi are so meaningful. Looking back on her life, she realizes the wrongs she has done. Shashathi’s moral is so truthful. Bringing those two aspects together to not only tell a story but a moral is such a creative idea.
Hi Hilary! I am going to be commenting on your introduction and your first story today. First of all, I love your idea for your storybook. It is very unique from others that I have seen and judging from your introduction, it seems like there is so much you can write about! The photo you have chosen for your cover page is so cute. The mother looks so happy to see her baby and her sari makes the page more vibrant, especially since it matches with the color of the heading. The image of Shashthi in your introduction looks interesting. If it could be a little bit bigger it might be easier to view the details in it. Shashthi is a good choice as a narrator since she is the goddess of childbirth. I enjoyed reading your first story. I especially liked that you elaborated on Kaikeyi’s story. Overall your storybook looks great and I can’t wait to read more of your stories later on as you add them!
ReplyDeleteHilary, great storybook! It is amazing to see how many people have come up with so many different ideas of their storybooks. This is yet, another great topic. I love the idea of telling the stories of the mothers. The eye of the mother is one that not only sees the story as a bystander but one that had an invested interest in the character. Overall, the site itself is simple and very easy to navigate. I had no struggles at all finding any of your stories or your introduction.
ReplyDeleteWith regards to the stories I really liked where we got to see the mothers reflect on the decision they had made. Kaikeyi showing remorse was a very interesting aspect, as I was reading it I remembered thinking that she must have had some remorse for such a harsh action she was responsible for. All together this storybook is great and I cannot wait to check back in later on to see more opinions of mothers and see the mothers that we are not familiar with yet.
Hilary,
ReplyDeleteYour cover page is very lovely. The simple background really makes your image pop out to readers. As I started off reading the intro, I really liked your idea of using Shashthi as your narrator. Her character and significance is very fitting in regards to the theme of your project.
I like how you had Shashthi introduce all of the stories that you are planning to tell, which gives the readers time to take in what to expect from them. The flow of the text is great in the introduction, and I am excited to read your first story.
I am actually really glad that you wrote about Kaikeyi since she has a bad reputation in the Ramayana, for the most part, after Rama's exile. This reputation was displayed in your tale, but I enjoyed your ending far more than the one presented in the Ramayana. I like how you incorporated a moral of the story, and displayed how Kaikeyi made some difficult decisions while trying to look out for her son.
Hilary, today I am going to be commenting on your Introduction page. Your website looks great. I love the red and white because it makes everything stand out. I think that your website is very easy to read and to navigate. If I had to make one suggestion it would be to delete the navigation bar because I feel that there is no need for it. I also like the pictures that you have chosen. On your home, the picture of the mother and child is so beautiful. Your story is very well written. I could find no mistakes whatsoever. I think that your choice for this storybook is very interesting. I like how you are going to focus on mothers and the effects that they have had on their children. I am very interested at looking at Kaikeyi’s story. I hope that you will give some deep insight into her inner thoughts.
ReplyDeleteHi Hilary! I really enjoyed reading your story about Kunti. However, I would have liked to read about a few changes that you made to the story so that it is original and not regurgitation. We all have great imagination, and I just wish I could have seen that a little bit more in this story. I thought that your story flowed well because of the paragraph breaks. It made it easy to read. You provided great background information as to why Kunti abandoned Karna. The message of this story is great! Abandonment seems to be a real issue these days with how high the divorce rates are. I enjoyed how you took the war out of the story, but still included it by giving us an image. I didn't see any grammar mistakes that I could find. You have done a really great job with this story. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHi Hilary!
ReplyDeleteJust from your cover page, I'm excited about your storybook. I love the red and white color scheme and I think focusing on the mothers will be a great and unique theme. The picture on your cover page with the mother and baby is adorable.
Your introduction is great. I think it's cool that you are using the goddess of childbirth to tell the stories. That will put a great and reliable narrator to tell the stories of different mothers throughout these stories. I also liked how you summarized what mothers you were going to talk about and a little about their stories. It wasn't enough to spoil the stories but was enough to prepare for the stories to come. I didn't notice any grammar or spelling mistakes while reading. The writing flowed well and was easy to read.
I look forward to reading your stories in the coming weeks. Great job!
I really like the concept you came up with! I feel especially in the Indian epics mother play a huge role. As I have been reading the Mahabharata that has become more apparent to me. I mean, on the advice of the Pandava’s brother’s mother, Draupadi became the common wife of all of them. If a passing comment from a mother caused an entire family to break all cultural norms, then she has to have influence. I enjoyed your introduction, it was clean and simple and did not overwhelm me with information. You picked an excellent goddess to be your storyteller. I also like the layout of your storybook. It was extremely easy to navigate and easy to read as well. I was a little worried when I first started reading Kaikeyi’s story, because it was so similar to what I read in the Ramayana. But the end saved it! Her reflecting on her mistake on her death bed was a great ending. However, to avoid sounding just like The Ramayana, I might suggest beginning the story with her being on her deathbed, and having her do a little shorter recap of her life. Besides that, you did a great job!
ReplyDeleteHello Hilary!
ReplyDeleteI visited you storybook site and was fascinated. I like the topic you picked to write because mothers from the stories take a big part of the Indian epic. I enjoyed reading your introduction because it gave a great amount of details on how the storybook is going to be. It is so true that mothers have their ups and downs. I like how you had the Goddess of mother to be the storyteller because she fits perfectly as a narrator.
I read Kaikeyi's story and it was great! The usage of dialogue was great and I was able to follow along with the story. I also wrote about Kaikeyi on my blog too because her character is just so unique! I also like the picture you used for the story.
You had a great flow in the paragraphs and I truly enjoyed reading your story! I also like the simple layout of your site. Can't wait to read more of mother stories.
Hello Hilary!
ReplyDeleteThis is my first time visiting your storybook, and I am a bit surprised that we haven’t crossed paths before. I like your coverpage of your storybook. It is nice and simple with red accents and borders. It feels very “Divine” like.
I think that you did a great job with the introduction. It was very well written. I never knew that there was a goddess of childbirth, so that was nice to learn about Shashthi’s existence. I see that she will be narrating the stories of the mothers, since she is the one who has talked to the mothers in need. He is like a modern day therapist. What you also did that was very well was briefly explain what each story would be about as well as introduce the 4 main characters.
I decided to read about your first story “Kaikeyi’s story. Since we have all read this part of the story before, at least I hope, I do not think that I need to comment on the actually story part, but I did notice that you added the deathbed scene with was a cool niche to the original. I understand what you were trying to do by venturing more into Kaikeyi’s feelings. Great job!
Hi Hilary! Today in your Storybook, I read your introduction and Kunti’s Story. Your introduction looks good, except for the line “I can help them be able to have a child”. That line is very awkward. Besides that, good job telling us about what we will be reading.
ReplyDeleteThe layout of your story looks good. The theme makes the stories easy to read, and your paragraph spacing is good. However, the links below your pictures should link us to the website where you found the image, not the larger version of the image.
Upon reading Kunti’s story, I first noticed that it was a little choppy. The first paragraph doesn’t have much sentence variation in it, so it reads with a lot of pauses. Also, the line “he floated down the river” was awkward. The phrasing almost makes it seem like his choice to do so.
Also, I don’t think the line “she felt so badly” fits well.
Your picture in this story is really small, and I feel like it should be made bigger so that it adds some color to the white page.
Other than that, good job!
Hilary, I have already commented on your storybook in the past. As I did the first time, this time again I really enjoyed reading the story from the mother's standpoint. Although everyone should know quite a bit of the details from the original stories since we all have a decent background from reading them. I feel you do a very good job of creating your own details to add into the storybook in order to bring the characters to life and really emphasize the viewpoint of the mothers. There were a couple things I noticed in Kunti's Story, however, that were just simply little grammatical errors that it seems others have also pointed out. Appearance though, I do agree with Lynze that the picture seems to be quite small for the page. Overall, outstanding storybook and good luck as we close out the semester.
ReplyDelete